Category: Uncategorized (Page 3 of 3)

Immediate Context-Yo Yo Ma’s article is called “Necessary edges: Arts, Empathy, and Education”. It was originally published in Wold-Post, which is a online news blog. The World-Post has a partnership between the Huffington Post and the Berggruen Institute of Governance. In the Bio of Yo Yo Ma’s bio it stuck out to me that they mention that he began performing when he was nine years old and in later years he became very famous and got over 17 grammy awards and has produced more than 90 albums. The bio also mention that Yo Yo Ma graduated from Juilliard school and Harvard University.

Imposed Context– I strongly agree with Yo Yo Ma, I also feel that schools should involve more art in everything they do. Personally at my school we were pushed to express our emotions through all kinds of art and it seems to bring a lot and joy and peace throughout the school. I took a murals class, and I was able to a huge painting that was then hung up in the school. Every wall of my school is covered in art work and it definitely makes a difference in the environment of the school. I also feel that the imposed context could be just getting more information on what STEAM is or what it could potentially be.

Internal Context-I feel the “So what” is to bring attention to how important art can be when involved in the STEM system. I feel that Yo Yo Ma is trying to reach out to educators and let them know and help them realize how important art is and he goes onto explain multiple examples of how art has touched him and the importance of art overall.

Glossing Words-

Bandwidth-  The energy or mental capacity required to deal with a situation.

Invigorate- To give vigor to; fill with life and energy; energize.

Virtuosos- A person who has special knowledge or skill in afield.

Before

The beautiful art that these two have given, brought great pride to the towns. These towns that were once “known for problems like crime, poverty, and violent drug war” (TED)

After

The beautiful art that these two have given, brought great pride to the towns. According to Haas, these towns that were once “known for problems like crime, poverty, and violent drug war”(00:43), are now beautiful places that people enjoy going to visit and see the great art work.

Before

Southan expands on the EA’s beliefs and he goes on to thinking about, is money more helpful or is giving you time more helpful for the less fortunate? At points he says “I think the work would be unlivable without art”.

After

Shouthan explains how he creates dark comedies and how he feels that his art touches people and brings them joy. Southan says. “I think the world would be unlivable without art” (p.435), and this shows how much he believes art and its beauty changes people.

A quote I added:

These workers were giving back to their own community and it brought them a feeling of pride. Hahn explained how “The city of Philadelphia thanked every single one of them and gave them a merit for their accomplishment”(6:40).

Revised writing:

Art is everywhere, in writing, painting, singing, and in thousands of other things. Many people go on their fast paced day and let all the art around them pass, without them even acknowledging it. On the other hand so many people around the world cherish art and find it a necessity in order for happiness. Rhy Southan’s essay “Is Art a Waste of Time?” is a good example of how many people take art for granted and don’t see the beauty that it brings to the world. But then Haas and Hahn TED talk “How Painting can Transform Communities” shows just how important art is to communities and how art can bring meaning to anything in life. If people slow down their lives, and just look, they will have an opportunity to see the beauty in all that is around them and be able to appreciate it more, and maybe even find more happiness in the world. The beauty of art can make people happy in several ways by bringing new joy and light into their lives.

Art exists as one of the strongest paths to beauty, and its beauty is what has power to bring happiness into people’s lives. Haas and Hahn are two mural artists who changed thousand of lives through their art and it’s beauty that it brought to the communities. These two men traveled around Vila Cruzeiro, Rio and put huge vibrant murals on walls, sidewalks, and houses. The beautiful art that these two have given, brought great pride to the towns. These towns that were once “known for problems like crime, poverty, and violent drug war” (TED), are now beautiful places that people enjoy going to visit and see the great art work. Different forms of art can be beautiful in their own way as well. In Rhy Southan’s essay “Is Are a Waste of Time?”, Shouthan explains how he creates dark comedies and how he feels that his art touches people and brings them joy. Southan says.  “I think the world would be unlivable without art”, and this shows how much he believes art and its beauty changes people. Art and beauty comes in so many different shapes and forms that some people may not see. There are some people who think art and its beauty are a waste of time and money.

Old writing:

Art is everywhere possible, in writing, paining, singing, and in thousands of other things. Many people go on their fast pace day and let all the art around them pass, without them even egnologing it. On the other hand so many people around the world cherish art and find it a necessity in order for happiness. Rhy Southan’s essay “Is art a waste of time?” a good example of how many people take art for granted and don’t see the beauty that it brings to the world. But then Haas and Hahn TED talk “How painting can Transform Communities” shows just how important art is to communities and how art can bring meaning to anything in life. If people slow down their lives, and just look, they will have an opportunity to see the beauty in all that is around them and be able to appreciate it more, and maybe even find more happiness in the world. Art can make people happy in several ways by bringing new joy and light into their lives.

Haas and Hahn brought new life and meaning to low income communities around the world in very unique ways. Haas and Hahn’s life changing project started out in a small run down community in Vila Cruzeiro, Rio. Vila Cruzeiro is one of many very small towns that is filled with very low income families. The people that live here must build their own houses, resulting in many never being actually finish. These towns have previously been known as a “bad” town that were filled with drugs and crime. This whole perspective changed once Haas and Hahn added a little bit of art into their community. The two men are strong believes that art can make people happy and they wanted help this community in this way. They envisioned amazing murals that could be painted across buildings and walkways. This dream of theirs became reality for them every fast, before they knew it they were starting their first project. The men along with two to three other guys, started off with their first mural with a boy flying a kite. In order to do this they had to plaster the houses first, then paint them. Once the first mural was done the everyone in the community loved it and it showed that it brought meaning to community, people were proud to live someplace that had amazing art. Haas and Hahn realized the huge effect that their art had and they wanted to continue to make these people happy so they decided to start their second project. Their second project was bigger and better and was going to take more time than the first. A local family offered the two men a place to stay while they were working. They realized that through spending their time with the community through cookouts and family dinners, they could get a better feel for their art, they felt that they could give back more “organic” art that everyone could appreciate and have a stronger connection with. These two didn’t stop their art after the second project, their murals had gone viral and everyone wanted an amazing mural like this to be in their community. These smaller projects had made communities so happy Haas and Hahn started similar projects in North Philly, Curacao, Haiti and back to Rio, in hopes of making communities happier, brighter, and more positive areas. By creating these murals, the communities that were once so bad and violent, had something to be proud of and look forward to. The paintings were so beautiful that it brought tourist to the these communities and that leads to money being put back into the community to make it better. This is proof that art can make lives better in so many ways. The mural projects also brought the communities together and helped them realize that their communitie were important and beautiful and more than just another low class community. These murals not only changed the way that theses communities looked at art, but how many in the world look at art. These projects proved that art makes the world a happier place. Even though it is so clear that creating art can help low income communities and bring light into people’s lives, some people believe that art is a waste of time.

What I fixed:

So to start off, I changed my thesis a little bit, to fit to more of what I was talking about. Then I went back through my first paragraph and fixed grammatical errors and reworded and few things. Then second, I totally changed my whole second paragraph. I made it a lot short and this time it wasn’t just a summary. I feel that my new paragraph fits my thesis a lot better and is a lot stronger. This new paragraph has a claim, and I also only used quotes that made my paper stronger. I feel like all these changes have my paper a lot stronger and have brought it way from the “5 paragraph” paper style.

I have a lot of goals for this paper. I want to actually go back through and almost rewrite my paper. I feel that I took the wrong approach at it and did the summarizing one paragraph then summarizing the other and then comparing. Which is a habit we are trying to get out of. I think that a lot that I wrote I could still use, but I need to move it around a lot. I need to focus on having better claims for my paragraphs and then supporting them throughout the paper instead of wandering off to a different idea. I want to also focus on sentence structure, grammar, and word choice. I want to go back through my quotes and make sure that I’m only using ones that will support my thesis.

First, what I need to do is go back through my paper and rewrite it. I feel like this step takes priority because if I do other steps before it, it would be pointless. To do this I will go through my paper and break it down and come up with better claims for each paragraph. I will then use different sentences from my first draft and try to make them all flow and fit together. I feel that I need to have stronger claims, then work my writing around that. Once I have stronger claims and paragraphs I can go back through and find quotes that support my claim. I want my paragraphs to be more mixed in my second draft this time. I want them all to relate more. I feel that in my first draft they were all a little separate and don’t connect well with each other. Once I have stronger claims and evidence it will only make my paper stronger and support my thesis even more.

I feel that my biggest struggle is grammar. I feel that is something really easy to fix though. So another big struggle that I’m facing is, trying to put the right information into the right paragraphs. At this point I feel like I need to start over and rewrite my paper in a different perspective. I feel like this is going to be struggle for me and may make me frustrated but I will take it one paragraph at a time and work on it. I feel that if I don’t try to fix it all in a day it will help me look through it all slower and it will produce better paragraphs.

If a challenge comes up through out my writing, I could always look into the little seagull book for help because it is very straightforward and has a lot of great information. I could email my teacher and ask for advice. I could have my roommate read my paper aloud to me, and maybe I could see where I was going wrong. I could also go to SASC to look for extra help.   

I feel like this could fall under ideas, “Introduce this differently maybe you could try saying things like: In accordance to, regarding, in reference to. Makes the quote flow better with the paper.” I feel like this fits into organization because I am giving her some ideas that she could use to make her paper better and flow easier. Sometimes it’s hard to see these things when you’ re reading your own paper.

I feel that this could go under evidence, the author wrote, “As Zander described, being powerful includes helping others to be their best.” And I felt that if the she went on to state how she felt about it and her opinion on it, it would only back her paper up even more. What does she define as power and what does she think makes someone powerful?

I feel like this could go under organization, In a paragraphs above the authors paragraph was talking all about music, but two paragraphs later she had a very good point that involved music. I suggested that she move that sentence up because I thought it would fit better and make more since.   

I feel like this was a very helpful step in my writing process. While reading though these essays I was able to see somethings that they could work on to make their papers better and then I thought about my paper and realized that I had been making some of the same mistakes. This kind of opens your eyes and gives you a new look at you paper in so many ways. When you go back to your paper you can look for some of those mistakes you saw previously. And not only, when reading though other peoples essays it gives you new point of views and ideas to write about, some that you may of never thought about writing before. I think that this process will definitely help me fore when I go back and revise my paper. At first while writing comments I was a little nervous and didn’t want to sound rude or that I didn’t like their writing. But then I felt like everyone was on the same page with the comments situation especially after talking about it in class. After realizing this, I was able to read through the essays and give back honest comments that I felt would be helpful and only make the essay better.

First I’d like to start out by say I LOVED having to do this activity. Having to write down a introduction almost forced me to do in a way. In the past my introduction was always the last thing for me to write. But now having a rough draft of my intro paragraph I feel like will help me with my whole paper so much. Also then going back and reading others work, opens new doors and connects for me and it gives me more ideas for my own writing. I think this process is super helpful because you get other students opinions on your work, and from there on your work can only get better as you write. What I plan on doing when its time, is to write my first draft, then go back through these comments and see if it sparks anymore ideas that I could add into my writing to make it stronger. This was a great activity and I’d love to do it again!

Here is a hyperlink to my comment and reply!

In the TED talk How Painting can Transform Communities, Haas and his partner Hahn explained how their artwork changed the lives of many lower class communities. It all started when the two men were in Vila Cruzeiro, Rio shooting a documentary. While being there, the placement and structures of the houses sparked their creativity. The two men went on to wonder what the communities would look like if all the houses were painted, and this wonder became reality. The two men got a small team together and painted murals across buildings and walkways in low income communities. By creating these murals, the community that was so bad and violent, had something to be proud of and look forward to and just in general be happy about. While creating the artwork Haas and Hahn were able to connect to the community and make the murals more “organic” and meaningful to the people who lived there. The paintings not only spread happiness to its community but the pictures of the murals went viral and got a lot of positive feedback. This one project made communities so happy that  Haas and Hahn started similar projects in  North Philly, Curacao, Haiti and even more in Rio, in hopes of making communities happier, brighter, and more positive areas. The mural projects brought the communities together and helped them realize that their communities were important and beautiful and more than just another low class community. These murals not only changed the way that theses communities looked at art, but how many people in the world look at art. These projects proved that art makes the world a happier place.

In Rhy Southan’s essay “Is Art a Waste of Time?” Southan takes the readers on the journey with him while he travels with EA’s while trying to finish his own piece of writing. Southan starts off by explaining the EA’s goal. He explains that EA’s thinks the best way to help the less fortunate is to donate 10% of your income to a charity. He then goes on to the thought, is money more helpful or is giving you time more helpful for the less fortunate? At points he says “I think the world would be unlivable without art” but then goes along with the idea that “Artists paint the beautiful landscape in the front of them while the world burns”.  As the article goes on it leaves the readers wondering where Southan opinion lays and what his overall opinion is on art. At the end of the essay it become a little more clear that Southan will continue to look at the bright side of art because he thinks that it will continue to make a difference in peoples like.

When comparing these two ideas, I found that in so many different ways they are so similar yet so different…. Both Haas and Hahn and Southan believe that the world needs art, and that they are going to provide the world with some kind of art. I feel that they go about it in different ways. Of course painting and writing are very different but there is one that seems more genuine. Haas and Hahn are going out of their way to make paintings that people will love and that will make people happy compared to Southan would is just writing a dark comedy and hopes that the people who read it get joy from it. Don’t get me wrong they are both works of art but I think that the mural painting gives back to the community more that the writing would. But at the same time, I feel like it’s the way that you look at the art and value it. Another connection that I made while brainstorming was that the EA’s whole saying is “donate money” and then I connected it to the murals project. The projects wouldn’t of been able to be done without the donations, and I didn’t really think of it like that in the beginning. Before I was getting the idea that the EA’s idea of helping was kind of snobby and the expectation were to high. But my thoughts have changed just a little bit. The EA was making it sound like all they wanted was people’s money, I would of definitely been more open to their ideas if they maybe went into more detail about what the money could do.

When reading through the essay the second time, I was definitely most interested and was able to get deeper into the text I would say. I got a lot of new opinions on the text after we talked about it in class in our small groups. Through the small groups I was able to ask questions and that allowed me to make those full connections, because at some spots I was a little confused with the text and I think that is what held me back from fully diving into the essay and being able to relate. When reading it the second time over and doing the glossing I felt that my imagination was working more. The first time I read through the essay I felt that I was focusing on the question that you asked us, even though it wasn’t a hard one, I still seemed to be focusing on it. The second time, I felt more free and I felt that I was reading more for fun and interest than for information. I think that glossing the text helped a lot for me personally, especially because some text and words trip me up, so when I come across a world that I’m not sure of or don’t understand the meaning of, when I looked it up and understood what it meant in the text I found myself feeling more involved and interested. I feel that glossing worked well for me and I would love to use it again while working with all different types of writing!

A word that I was unfamiliar with was egalitarianism , meaning a belief in human equality especially with respect to social, political, and economic affairs.

A spot in this writing that really took me back and made me think was when I read the section that talked about Peter Singer’s published essay called “Famine, Affluence, and Morality”. After reading the section on page 435 that said “…..and yet most of us manage to ignore those dying of poverty and preventable disease all over the world, though we could easily help them”. In a way after reading this, it made me think more about my life and the people around me. It made me ask, do I ignore people who need my help? Does my family? Do my friends? Of course I want to say no….. But what are we all really doing to help others who aren’t as fortunate as ourselves. For me personally I feel this is a strong reason why I want to be a nurse. I want to be able to help people who are in need. I want to be able to be a traveling nurse, and for a little bit, travel to third world countries and help care for people who can’t afford health care. Although I may not be making a difference right now, I keep looking at my future and reminding myself of all things I will be able to do then. I think that it is important for everyone to stop and think what they can be doing to help out, even if it’s just a little bit. This area of writing just makes me think of humanity and what kinds of people do what jobs. It leaves me asking myself, are there some jobs that are a waste? What are more things that we can all do help out more?

Another area that made me think was when read the core concept of EA, it was, “That the only good that counts is what you accomplish over and above what the next person would have done in you place” This made me a little annoyed/ angry in a way. It made me feel this way because they make it sound like the little things that people do to help out, aren’t even important. Basically if you didn’t do the greatest thing then it’s not really even that great. I personally feel that the little things ARE what makes a difference, not everyone is able to contribute a lot. If people think that the little things they are doing to help out are unimportant they are going to stop doing anything all together.

Welcome to UNEPortfolios. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!